Updated: Jan 9
It's hard to believe that in just a few days he will turn 3. I never imagined myself as a mother. Truth is, I didn't want to have children. I didn't see myself as the “mother type” and the thought of having to care for someone else around the clock didn't appeal to me, still, Jaya chose me.
When I ask him why he chose me he tells me, “Porque eres linda.” (translation: because you are pretty). I sit with him at our altar in the mornings when we rise and in the evenings before we lay down to sleep, and we speak about the things we are grateful for. Usually he gives thanks for coconuts. Sometimes, he thanks Buddha for healing his friend Dean from cancer and other times he just sits there in silence as if his heart is whispering words of gratitude that he cannot speak.
I am always in awe of him and always trusting in his words and magic. Like when he turned to me one night and told me, “Mama, I am an old man.” Words that I can only reply with, “I know you are, Jaya. I know you are." I know this isn't his first lifetime and I am honored that he found me worthy enough to guide him in this one.
I do not know who he is or what his purpose here is but I am so, so elated to be the one to watch him unfold daily.
This year, I have chosen to make him something meaningful and since we won't have much space in our camper hOMe, I also chose to make him something easy to travel with.
Every morning, I have him repeat affirmations with me:
Yo Soy Paz (I Am Peace)
Yo Soy Amor (I Am Love)
Yo Soy Felicidad (I Am Happiness)
And the one he made up on his own...
Yo Soy Luz (I Am Light)
I chose to make him the first two and eventually will make him the whole set. As I sketched them, drew them and painted them, I thought about their journey with him...where they will go, how long he will have them for and if my grandchildren will ever see them! Either way, none of that matters now because where he is going he won't need external reminders that he is peace, love, happiness and light...he already is and he already knows.
Happy birthday, Jaya
शुभं जन्मदिनम्, जय