Updated: Jan 9, 2020
I used to live in the 900 sq ft house in this picture. I lived there for almost 8 years on my own. It was a place where I felt much peace but experienced some of my darkest moments in. Still, till this day, I have some really fond memories there. It is where many happy gatherings occurred and where my mom use to come over unexpectedly and peek in through the window to say hello. Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I can see her smiling and standing there at that main window.
Four years ago, I decided to leave. I needed a change...a big one. I had recently lost my mother. She lived just a few houses down on the same street with my estranged sibling. My mother passed away in her home. On the day she died, I went into the house to find her lifeless body laying on the floor. My estranged sibling was out of town that day. I was all alone, kneeling down next to my mother trying to make sense of what had just happened. I remember holding her cold hand and wishing that we would both just wake up. A friend of mine arrived soon after and helped me move her body onto her bed. The rest of that day I am not ready to speak of. There are some memories that are just too heavy and will never fade.
So, I did something I didn't think I was capable of, I packed up my belongings and moved to a townhouse in Surfside (about 45 minutes away). It was a bigger home (1900 sq ft) and I only had a few, relatively new, friends near by.
I had no idea what I was doing but I knew that something bigger than me was calling and I had to go.
Now, looking back, I realize that I needed to come to Surfside to heal and grow. I needed the change so that I could find myself and my peace. The kind of peace that is unshakable and so deeply rooted that it takes over every cell in your body. Surfside is also where I would begin my new family, discover motherhood and where my heart would soften to the world. I came to Surfside to shed old habits, to learn to love the real me, to heal from lots of hurt and to rise up into my true self. I sometimes wonder where I would be had I let “fear of the unknown” stop me. I would probably be telling a different story right now.
Just as I was called to move once before, I see now how I am being called to move back to that little home. If you had asked me four years ago if I would ever come back I would have said, “Never!” but...
the universe has a bigger plan, much bigger than my own.
An opportunity came up two months ago when the tenant told me that July would be his last month there. Initially, I thought I would just rent it out again but soon realized I was being called back. It is time to return to the little home with my new family. It is time to live in peace in the place that once hurt. So, as a family, we made the decision to move back. Alexis' main concern was my mental health, seeing as to how such a traumatic event had occurred on that street and that my estranged sibling still lives there, just a few houses down. I sat with his concerns for a brief moment and soon realized that no matter where I am, I am peace. I trust whole heartedly in Her plan for us (Yes, my “God” is a woman).
This little home will grant us the space to work on Luz, our Airstream, in the next few months as we prepare to hit the road. It will also be a place for happy gatherings, growth, countless friends stopping by and for our farewell party. We have named the house, “Casa Nueva Paz” (New Peace) and we are excited to call it home before we roam.
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